Entry 5.

I should be outside. Seriously though, we should all be outside- it's sunny and almost warm, despite the wind, and we all know by how just how scarce the sunshine can be around this time of year. But instead here I am, composing in one window and writing in another while trying not to be distracted by the sun coming in the windows from outside. I think I like house windows much more than I like computer windows right now, but we've all got to deal with these things one day or another.

So I had a bit of a change in plans...Almost. I'm not sure yet. I've been working away on my atonal composition- the one with the voice, vibraphone, tubular bells, bass, clarinet and piano, but am discovering that the way that I write for voice- as we discussed in class last time- is perhaps a bit too challenging for the vocal artist, unless they had perfect pitch. I'd like to tamper with this piece a fair bit and actually finish it, seeing as it's close to being three minutes long already and I am enjoying it, but obviously it needs to be made a bit more physically possible to sing. I found it highly amusing in last class though, when it was suggested that I sing the piece because I'm already familiar with the vocal line and have perfect pitch...Unfortunately, however, I refuse to do so on the grounds that I firmly believe I'd butcher it. Hold a gun to my head and I can, and will, carry a tune, but otherwise, don't bother, because I don't like to sing solo in public. I've toyed with the idea of making it a piece for people with perfect pitch, but that's kind of selective and discriminatory, and I don't want to do that- I'm all for diversity and equal rights.

On a slightly different note, though...I might have come up with something else...While asleep. It sounds weird, I know, and you're probably thinking right now that I am the ultimate dork for composing while sleeping, but it happens every once in a while and if I'm lucky, I can remember what I've written in my head while sleeping and write it down. Funny thing is that I don't usually realize that I'm the one composing the piece until after I wake up and go 'oh, well then, that was nice of me.' I usually dream that someone else had written the piece that I'm listening to, and am often made fairly jealous by said composer's style and flair. I've never quite been able to reproduce note for note what I've composed in a dream- not like Coleridge who somehow managed to write out 'Kubla Khan' in a somewhat similar state (I say somewhat because opium has had no play in my current, past or future state as far as I'm concerned) - but I like to try, and I can usually get the basis and elaborate upon it if I like it.

So my goal for Wednesday is this- to finish my first composition and get enough done on the second one so that the class can have an idea of what I'm working on. This one is for vibraphone, piano, flute, oboe and cello. It has much softer timbres and borders on being minimalistic, rather than the disjunct piece that I've got nearly completed. For once I think I've written something that's almost pretty...I've become a bit frustrated with my past few compositions, because the style I seem to be falling into is more dramatic, filled with turmoil and angst rather than being ethereal and pretty. Guess I just have to get in touch with my subconscious side which seems to surface while I sleep, and maybe share some ideas and tips over imaginary beer and nachos with it. It's worth a try, no?